Breaking the Bank/Transcript
(Vault Hunter accepts the mission.) Brick: There are three things I wanna do. One, fight the Sheriff. Two, blow stuff up. And three, get paid. So, blowin' apart the Sheriff's bank is basically the dream job. Head to the bank and case the joint. (Mission objectives update: Check out the bank) (Vault Hunter goes over to the Lynchwood bank.) Brick: You're near the vault -- see if you can open it. (Vault Hunter checks the bank door.) Brick: Damn. I knew it wouldn't be that easy. (Mission objectives update: Find laxative) Brick: Looks like the wall's made of poly-kryten, which only dissolves when exposed to skag bile. I got an idea -- we need a bomb, covered in skag bile. Now, this ain't gonna make a lot of sense, but just bear with me. First, find some laxative. (Vault Hunter finds laxative.) Brick: Now that you've got the laxative, it's time to find some explosives. That may be my favorite sentence I've ever said, hahaha! Anyway. There should be a bandit around there named Mad Dog -- sumbitch loved to toss dynamite at my Slabs when they came into town. Take him out and get his boomers. (Mission objectives update: Get explosives from Mad Dog) (Vault Hunter heads over to the Death Row Refinery, where he finds Mad Dog.) Mad Dog: Rootin' tootin' lootin' son of a gun! (Vault Hunter kills Mad Dog, and gets explosives.) Brick: We got what we need to make a bile bomb. Go slap the bomb down outside a skag den. (Mission objectives update: Place bomb) The Sheriff: Explosives, huh? That oughtta be fun. (Vault Hunter goes over to skag den and places the bomb.) Brick: Cool. Now coat it in laxative. The skag will eat the bomb, cover it in his bile, then vomit it back up. Then we can blast through the bank door! Simple, heh! Except for how goddamn complicated it is. (Mission objectives update: Coat bomb with laxative) (Vault Hunter coats the bomb with laxative, skag gets out of den and eats the bomb.) Brick: He went for it! Lucky for us, skags eat and crap outta the same hole, so this won't take too long. Follow him and get the bomb back when he horks it up. (Skag craps out the bomb.) (Mission objectives update: Dig through skag pile) (Vault Hunter digs the pile and digs out the bomb.) (Mission objectives update: Pick up skag bomb) Brick: Voila! One skagbile bomb ready for bank-bustin'! Just slap that on the bank wall and wait for the fireworks! (Mission objectives update: Get to the bank, Blow vault open) (Vault Hunter gets back to the bank, places skagbile bomb, and blows vault open.) The Sheriff: Heh, a bank robbery. Now you're talkin'. Get 'em, boys. (Mission objectives update: Get loot 0/25) Bandit: That Slab busted the bank! Let's loot the place and kill that idiot! Brick: Ah, crap. Bank guards. Get rid of 'em! (Vault Hunter kills all the attackers then loots the bank.) Brick: You got the money? Now get outta town, Slab, before the Sheriff sics her posse on ya! (Mission objectives update: Get out of town) (Vault Hunter runs down the main street and leaves the town.) The Sheriff: Nice robbery. I think you deserve my best. Boys, get after 'em! (Mission objectives update: Hide evidence 0/3) Brick: Now, you gotta stash that cash or the Sheriff's boys won't ever stop lookin' for ya. Find a good place to hide it and my boys'll pick it up later. Don't worry -- I'll pay ya even more than what you got from the bank job once this is all over. (Vault Hunter goes to the locations indicated on the map and burries the loot.) The Sheriff: Brick always did have a flare for the dramatic. Made a real scene of it when he escaped my jail -- blew it sky high, swore revenge for what Jack and I did to him, said we'd turned him into a bandit the moment we killed his dog. Dealin' with you, I think, is gonna be much simpler for both of us. I die, or you do. Nice and clean. (Mission objectives update: TURN IN!) Brick: Let me know when you're ready for the next job. (Vault Hunter returns to the bounty board and turns in the mission.) Category:Transcripts